The Right Way

  I have had this topic come up a few times recently and I feel the need to get my thoughts and feelings out there. After reading this article, I just felt like "Yes!" As a mother who cloth diapers, babywears, co-sleeps, and breastfed I think people believe that I think that is the best and only way to be a mother.

 I do not think less of anyone that uses disposable diapers. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and that is what it took to fit that into our budget. I would do it even if we had an endless amount of money, I would have someone else do the washing most likely, but I would still cloth diaper. It is what my mom did and I think that it is the best thing for the environment, which is very important to me. I remember before I had kids telling two friends that had children that when I had kids I would cloth diaper. They told me there was no way I would once it came. They said, "Once you have kids and you see how hard it is you will decide not to." I got a lot of that my entire pregnancy and even after.  Let me tell you, when someone says I can't do something it just makes me want to do it more. I did it and I plan to do it again.  On the flip side last night I talked to a woman who has a two year old and just had twins. When she found out that Mia was potty trained already and has been since before she turned two she obviously started to feel bad about herself. I tried to make it clear that we had cloth diapered which usually gets a kid potty trained faster. That fact seemed to make her feel even worse. She said "You cloth diapered? You are such a good mom!" While I appreciate the compliment, I don't think that I am any better a mom than she is. Especially not based on the fact that I cloth diapered and have a potty trained child. This woman just had twins ,has a two year old, and was out to dinner for a friends birthday. She is my hero. I found her to be amazing.

 It breaks my heart when I see a child being carried around in their carseat. I don't think the mom is a bad mom, but I loved carrying my little baby on my chest. It didn't matter if it was in my arms, my Ergo, or my Moby Wrap. I loved the feeling of her being so close to me all the time. She also rarely cried in public if she was against me like that. When I hear babies crying in their car seat while the mom is shopping I just want to pull the baby out and hold it. Again, I don't think that what these mothers are doing is wrong. I don't think that they are a worse mother because they don't carry their baby. I just think they are missing out on valuable cuddle time that only lasts so long. As Mia gets bigger and it hurts my back to carry her (which might have something to do with my growing belly) I miss that time when I could carry her around all day and have it be of little consequence.

 I really just feel the need to say that we are all moms making the choices that work best for us. Sometimes that choice involves bottle feeding and having your baby sleep in their own room. I chose to breastfeed for longer than I even wanted to and to have my child sleep in our bed. Sure, somedays I long for her to go to sleep in her bed, but I also love the little bedtime conversations we have and when she wakes me up by rubbing my head and saying "What's wrong? Don't worry about a sang(thing) pretty mama." I die of the cuteness overload and just snuggle her in. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I missed out on those moments. Bottom line is we all have to make the choice for what works best for us. Motherhood is hard and it is wearing. If you can love your kids more than anything else in this world, then I think that you are a great mom.


  1. Amen. So many good words here! We love to carry Lucy around but we're finding she's not a big fan of the moby wrap anymore! Any tips? She fusses so much when she's in it that I can't use it in public anymore :(

    1. Have you tried doing a front facing wrap. My daughter loved to look outwards. She also really liked the ergo. She would still ride in it if I could carry her. My husband still does it sometimes.

  2. I love everything you said! I feel the same way about the car seat thing. If your baby is crying pick them up, take them out of the car seat some times all they need is to feel you! Both my last two sleep in bed with me( we are working on getting them out of bed). And most people could not believe how long I breastfeed my kids. I wish I did cloth diapers but I didn't. Again I love everything you said.

  3. Great post. Almost all of us do the best we can for our children, making decisions based on what we think is right and what we can handle. It's obviously not the same for everyone. It's just really important that we support each other and really try to honor the choices of others, even if we think they are terrible.


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