Say Yes

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There is so much we can learn from our own parents or guardians about parenting. Whether it be that you learn from your parents mistakes, or want to be just like them. One thing I think my parents did well (There are so many. My mom is kind of the best) was say yes whenever possible. I had a friend in high school who's mom seemed to say no a lot. I think because she thought she was supposed to. This friend was wild and did a lot of things I never would have. She had this desire to rebel. I never really needed to rebel. I was always surprised by how crazy she would get at a party(that her mom never knew she was at). My parents always knew where I was, and sure I wasn't an angel at 17, but I wasn't doing anything they would have been ashamed of.

I find myself saying "no" a lot. I recently watched a home video of myself at about Mia's age. I was playing and then I climbed on the coffee table. No one told me to get down, they all just watched me. I always tell Mia to get down. I realized I want her to be calm and collected all the time. In reality she is a wild, red haired, stubborn girl. Why would I want to stifle her creativity? To make my day easier? Because I think she needs to act a certain way? I am not really sure. My new goal is to say yes as often as safely possible. That means reading one more bedtime story when asked, going to the park when she says "park, park, park", and letting her have a banana even when I am pretty sure she will only eat 1/2. What is one (or three)  more bedtime stories? It is a little more one on one time with my child while she is still young and wants to hang out with me. When she is in high school and leaving with her friends, I will wish that she would sit and listen to me read her a book. Letting her play at the park wears her out and makes her take a longer nap (score!). The other 1/2 a banana can go in the freezer for smoothies. Saying "yes" can make my day better too. I don't like to say "no". It doesn't feel good to say "No don't do that!" So, why do I say it so much. Maybe control.

I urge you to try saying yes in a situation you would normally say no in. I know it's hard sometimes. It is faster to make dinner by yourself, it is easier to hurry through the store without stopping to look at every single fruit, and sometimes it just seems dirty to let them play in puddles. You will cherish the memories of cooking with your children(as long as you can let go of a little perfectionism). You may realize that you wanted some oranges while you stop to name every kind of apple. I always have a change of clothes in the car, so puddle jumping is fun. Mia just did this the other day. She thought it was the most amazing thing ever. It was hard for me to let go at first, but I am glad I did. When she was done I stripped her down and put her in some dry clothes. If I didn't have the clothes, I could have let her ride home naked.  You won't regret it. When I do the things Mia wants to do we really have the best days. So, try it. Say "YES".


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